Thunders and Lightning Without a Storm

For the zillion times in my life, I feel numb. Honestly, it feels so bad but I’m not going to beg him to stay anymore. I just had enough. I know I’m not this perfect girlfriend he always wanted and I could never be one. But I’ve been trying my best to be faithful, accepting, and repress all the sadness and grumpiness I have for the past year.

I know he never forbid me to do anything, including to date other guy. But it just not me. I’m not that kind of girl that giving my heart to one guy but screw around with other guys. Once I gave my heart to someone, no matter what happened, it will be in his hand for always.

I never been in a long-term serious relationship before. This is actually the first one. I’ve learned a lot from this though. I learned that silence is truly a gold. I learned the importance of accepting, of loving your other half for them, learned that when you really love someone, maybe it’s the best move to let them go and let them find their own happiness.

I might look just fine in pictures or your tv screen, but NO ONE would ever know, what kind of wound I got. And I know, it won’t be healed. Not for a very long time, maybe NEVER. But one thing for sure, I’ll always love him, even if he doesn’t believe it. I’ll always pray for his happiness and will always cherish our happy moments forever. I love you today, tomorrow and forever.

Copied verbatim from Leighton Meester’s blog aka Blair Waldorf in Gossip Girl. I really am a fan of her. I can’t really think of a reason why there are guys who don’t see the worthiness and value of a woman.

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