A post from Aug 14, 2015

Contrary to one of the songs of my favorite band OneRepublic, love does not run out. During a team building session, my teammates and I found ourselves talking about self-entitlement and love.

A teammate said that I should stop thinking that I can truly “give my all.” That love is one of the most abundant things in the world that if I I start thinking that indeed it is, in moments of unmatched love, I am still capable of loving something more, someone else– but most importantly, myself.

To stop believing that I “deserve only the best,” thinking that I am entitled for the best kind of love to exist as it sets unreasonable expectations on people. I know pain comes from unmet expectations but I didn’t realize that believing that I DO deserve the best sets these lofty bars– and wow that’s unfair. Unfair to the people I “loved” since these people are flawed just like I am.

It’s difficult to to let go of these ideals and I’ve confirmed that I’m truly not ready to have any kind of relationshit not only because I said so but because of all these things imprinted in my brain that made me realize– wtf ayoko na magka-jowa talaga. Joke, sabay bawi. HAHAHA

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