It’s been a while since I actually let my thoughts out through a blog but let me just get back, just this time because I simply can’t can’t understand WHY I’ve been getting anonymous questions in ask.fm asking if I have moved on (or “You haven’t moved on!” Actually a statement, not a question) as if not moving on yet is something bad— as if it makes you a loser of some sort.
What does moving on mean, if I may ask? If it meant not wanting to be with the person again, then yes, that makes me “moved-on.” Albeit I believe there are levels and depths about this phase in one’s love life (i.e. moved on from the break up itself? The good times? The self-esteem and emotional damages? Your ex-partner’s adorable family? haha), the point of of writing this is not to define being able to move on, but to tell you that not being able to get over just yet is OKAY. And definitely normal.
Quoting my favorite ask.fm answer from @shakirasison:
“If the love is real and it’s strong enough to cause you turmoil, then you simply can’t stop loving someone because we don’t have an on and off switch that way. We don’t transfer love from one person to the next the way we turn over an hourglass.”
Also, let me quote from my dearest OneRepublic’s I Lived…
“Hope that you fall in love, and it hurts so bad…
the only way you could know, you gave it all you had.”
Now tell me, how is it easy to move on from a feeling so significant? I know first hand how awesome it feels to actually BRAG about being able to move on so quickly! But let me tell you this,
I loved so much, GAVE so much that it started to destroy me. It was a love so greatly complicated and extreme in all possible ways that my being wasn’t able to handle and contain; that every time I remember how much I’m capable of giving to my own expense makes me cry because I don’t understand how and WHY! (I feel those tears dropping now!!).
My question now is, have you ever loved like that?
How you even loved somebody so much it makes you cry?
I did. And I am more than proud to say that; moved on, or not completely moved on just yet.
I might have to write how awesome my being single is one of these days because of the drama this blog post have caused. People, I’m okay now! 2014 na at may bago na rin akong pinagkaka-kiligan at kontento na ako doon! Wehe! :’) This is worth saying, JESUS HAS GIVEN/WILL GIVE ME EVERYTHING I’LL EVER NEED.